Thursday, 18 May 2017

Finding My Style

Wardrobe Planning Prep

I can't help it lovelies, I'm growing old. And nothing hits you in the face with your own aging and mortality like losing someone you admire. I awoke early this morning to a thunderstorm with an upset stummy, and as I lay in bed with my cat joyful picking my arm my husband broke the news to me that Chris Cornell has suddenly passed. I have fond memories of listening to Soundgarden's album Superunknown repeatedly throughout my youth. I can't have a blistering hot windy day and not think of Soundgarden and Chris' distinct vocal talents. I didn't care for Audioslave and what came later but I never forgot the way that his music made me feel, and not only that, I'll never forget that he was genuinely a great person. It's really sad news. As we grow older all of our idols get older still, some pass away and some, like Bill Nye the Science Guy, grow up to be douchebags. It's disheartening but it reminds me to make my own positive changes in this life, to make great art and not be a douchebag.

Grappling with my age has been difficult this year. I'm trying to find my niche in the fashion world. I know that some people take the stance that you wear what you want and I partially agree to that. I'm concerned that I'll hit that point where I'm making an ass of myself, like my 10th grade english teacher, who was like 50 and wore mini skirts and hooker boots with blouse unbuttoned as she perched herself upon the corner of her desk. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!

When you're developing your own personal style you base it on a set of morals and beliefs. Everyone has different viewpoints. In my teacher's vision she clearly believed that provocative, skin revealing clothing was sexy and empowering. Adult version of me could have shown her how to style sexy without looking like she's auditioning for a PTA porno. I'm sure much of her wardrobe decision making was also driven by a revolt against aging gracefully. I have no issue with 70 year old ladies wishing to wear bikinis, as long as those bikinis fit and are tasteful. We shouldn't have to resign ourselves to 2" shoulder pad suit jackets, neck scarves, and boring ankle length skirts. The key to dressing young and original as you age is not to go full steam in the opposite direction of "old peoples clothes". You have to find a balance between the two.

This is why throughout my wardrobe purge I'm reassessing my needs, morals, and my beliefs about myself. Am I young enough to wear certain things? I'm still shapely, my skin is aging but looks fresh to most who comment on it, I don't have deep carved out lines yet and my legs are nice and slim. I'm still able to get away with revealing clothing and I am going to ride that out! But I don't want to wear the "young stuff" anymore. I don't know how to describe it... it's a certain look. Like everything is shrunken or everything is oversized. Does that make sense? It's like this: I don't feel comfortable in the shorts that I bought from Ardene's. I feel like an idiot in them. They're short and there's nothing wrong with that but they're cut like shorts for an eight year old girl. I also feel like a shithead wearing t-shirts. I have no idea where that comes from but I just can't wear those things anymore! Maybe it's become synonymous with being young? It's like how I could never do pastel goth. I don't want to look like those goons on Instagram who are manipulating their lips and eyes to three times their natural size, blanketed in a sea of baby pink and ice blue, they look like an army of Easter Bratz dolls. Jesus it makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it.

So I've been combing through the e-catalogs to see if I can get some inspiration for my wardrobe building process. It seems like I'm being drawn to the classical designs. I'm not into this weird "Part Time Unicorn" oversized pink sweater shit. I still like a good mini skirt but I'm drawn to long sleeves in my tops. I like pants despite not owning a pair lol. It's something I might try again some day. As for dresses my love of a good fitted dress lives on. I'm attracted to the a-line skater shape because it hugs my body in just the right way. I also like flowy chiffon things because I find there's something distinctly mature about it. Here's some of my inspiration (at the top of this post as well):

What are your thoughts? As you've aged what have you gravitated towards? What's become your "safe zone" in fashion?



  1. I've been having thoughts on aging too! Just on the cusp of 30 myself, turning 29 in June.
    I don't know, I feel like I should be more daring with my outfits. I've always always played it safe and to the neck since I was a teen. There were times in my where my skirt went a little above my knees but it was so very seldom-- I dressed very matronly. Then again, I've always had a baby body... and getting older, I have started feeling like I'm "filling out" a bit better. Late bloomer? That I am lol.

    1. Hey, do it now while you can before they start calling you a "cougar". I dressed rather provocatively when I was in my early twenties. I had skirts that barely covered my bum cheeks, I had to crouch when I looked at things lower than eye level and sitting on the bus felt so uncomfortable because inevitably my ass stuck to the leather seat lol. I still wear short skirts and the occasional deep cut top but I know that the time I can get away with it is limited. I figure I'll ride it out this year and see how I feel next year (30!) and if I'm really uncomfortable with it I'll probably prioritize style over sexy.

  2. I just had the same thing happen...I was wearing the inverted crosses black milk leggings and looked in the mirror and was like... I'm too old for this. I need to make a new rule for myself and not get things with prints on them. No more ironic stuff... I got a dress with a *meme* on it that I for some reason didn't wear yet.

    1. lol. Dude, I've got lolita shit hanging in my closet that I plumb forgot about and when I found it I was like ?! When will I ever wear this again?? I need a more mature version of my wardrobe so I'm purging like mad. I've already got a big bag full of clothes to donate to charity and anything I like the print of I'm keeping to cut up and make into something else. I just hit this point where I felt like it looked as though I was trying to fit in with the young crowd and that doesn't sit well with me lol. I'm not sure what separates "mature" goth from young goth, but it feels like it is the prints and the slogan tees and anything that could pass as yoga clothing. It should be fun finding out what mature dress means to me. I always figured by 50 I'd be dressing like the aunts from Practical Magic.


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