Sunday, 5 February 2017

Beauty trends that I'm already over


Trends that need to end, like now, please.

Last year I described some trends that I was either sick to death of or hated from the very beginning. A few of those things are still occurring today, for example, Killstar has continued with its famed prints. Worse yet, it's been copied by brands like Banned Apparel and Jawbreaker! So much for originality. Occult prints have shown no sign of stopping but the fad has definitely slowed down. I can safely say the same for profanity slogan tees and bodysuits. Perhaps practicality might have effected those sales and put an end to most of it. 

This year my thoughts have settled less on garment style and more on hair and makeup. Since all that's popular in mainstream media is "street fashion" (which isn't even an actual fashion movement, it's just a mashup of everyone's different tastes), there's not much to critique this spring in Goth and Alt catalogs. It's all very boring in fact lol. There's very run of the mill products this year, lots of knits, tees, and jogging pants. I can't complain about pants, we need pants. No, instead my focus has been drawn to the things that won't stop popping up in my Pinterest feed...


Pastel Hair

It looks good on almost nobody, unless you happen to be sixteen and still have radiance to your skin. I recall when it was cool to dye your hair an unusual colour but now it's terribly mainstream and you'd be daring if you dyed your hair a normal colour! What is it that bothers me so much about smoky pink, smoky lavender and smoky turquoise? Well, for starters, why does it have to be smoky anything? Why can't it be vibrant? But more importantly, why does everyone seem to assume it'll work with their skin and hair type? I have seen this shit on eleven year old girls right up to women in their sixties. It's been popularized by many celebrities. Too many celebrities. Too many people have jumped on this trend, and isn't that indicative that it's not cool any more? When you're all doing it?

But it really doesn't work for everybody. In order to achieve these shades you ought to see a professional and not attempt it with box dye kits (I'm looking at you Féria) and Manic Panic with a bit of bleach. Truly successful candidates will already have light ash blonde hair. Those who have dark hair who attempt to bleach themselves will have to deal with the dye becoming patchy but more importantly brassy. I have read through a handful of reviews of brunettes trying this with absolute failure and it is because they're brunettes. You've probably seen the differences between a brunette who bleaches their hair and a blonde, a blonde will go platinum and the brunette will turn coppery. Now imagine putting any other hair colour over copper successfully, you can't, it comes out looking muddy and orange. And that's my biggest issue with pastel hair, people don't understand the science behind it, they don't realize that it's not fool proof and it can be fucked up very easily. That's why there are so many pictures of girls on Instagram and the like with drab, muddy pastel dye jobs. A professional hair dresser knows how to bleach your hair and prep it for such colours, it's expensive but if you want this crap it's worth paying for it.

5% of People
I just think the whole thing needs to end though. We were at a supermarket recently and my man turned to me and whispered, "Jesus, did you see that girl's hair? It looks like shit." He never comments on anything fashion related so I instantly took notice. That's when I spotted her, a girl in the distance with gray hair. Like grandma gray. The poor thing must've only been 24 or so but it made her look older, worn out and shitty. Pastel and smoky hair colours aren't complimentary for most skin types. They can age you rapidly, even more so if you're already pushing into senior citizen status. These shades are too dull and will have the opposite effect for most; instead of highlighting the rosiness in your cheeks, it brings out the veins, age spots and dark circles under your eyes. It makes you look tired and busted. It's not pretty. Unless you happen to occupy the like 5% of people who can get away with it. The same 5% that can get away with wearing leggings on their own and g-string bikinis.

I just personally hate this trend with a passion because it looks trashy on a lot of girls. I felt the same way about the ombre fad. Ombre hair made it look like women hadn't touched up their roots in three years, it looked sloppy. This pastel fad isn't much different. It looks like someone dyed their hair pink once and it didn't wash out completely, leaving a patchy, fried over bleached mess. Honestly, I saw "homeless" punk kids downtown with hair like this when I was sixteen, it wasn't flattering then and I don't think it's flattering now.



Overdrawing lips and Eyebrows

The big lip thing. Ugh! I hate it. The 1" thick eyebrow! Gahh! Everyone looks like a drag queen or a living Bratz doll these days. Drag queens overdraw their lips to parody women, now we have women embracing the trend?! How the hell does that even work? But it's out there. Thanks to Kylie Jenner we have people desperate to pump their lips up to an unimaginable, icky, inflatable degree. It's sad really. I've been perusing RealSelf for advice on aging. My skin is starting to show the telltale signs of getting older and I want to nip it in the bud while I'm still young. I've been reading up about all sorts of crap like fat sculpting, laser reduction, implants and derma fillers. As you can imagine, 90% of the derma filler reviewers have pumped their lips. Some aren't even happy with their already gigantic filled lips. Let's be fair, RealSelf is loaded to the gills with body dismorphic surgery fanatics. I would say in a way this is beneficial because they try every surgery known to man, you get a lot of reviews from them...yet their expectations are severely unrealistic. There are so many poor sons of bitches who just want the fakest, most unachievable lips imaginable. I pity them.

I must give props to those who have chosen to not mutilate their bodies through excess surgery (or by sucking their lips into a bottle until they tear and bleed) and have opted to overdraw their lips instead. I'm not against overdrawing in general. I have to do it myself because my top lip has been disfigured by a scar revision surgery. If handled delicately overdrawing can be quite successful. It's not new either...despite what some incredibly unaware makeup bloggers may claim. This trend has been around since the dawn of lipstick. Women have under and overdrawn their lips in a variety of different ways, these techniques were popularized in the early 20th century and can be seen by the likes of Theda Bara, Joan Crawford and Marilyn Monroe. In order to overdraw properly you have to have a good hold on your technique and you must use the appropriate tools. There are only certain lip shades that make overdrawing successful. Firstly, you must use a bright or dark shade and depending on the natural shape of your lips you should do this in matte lipstick. If you have a prominent upper ridge on your lip then glossy lipstick will highlight this and it'll be glaringly obvious that you've overdrawn your lip. Shades that have been most successful on me are bright pink, red and maroon or plum. I start by applying concealer above my lip because it for some reason acts as a really good foundation for my lipstick. I use a lip pencil to establish the shape, and then fill with lipstick. You only extend it beyond your lip by maybe a millimeter, you have to keep it subtle to be believable. Anything beyond that and you're risking stares.

People have also gone into excess with their eyebrows. I've seen some big ass eyebrows lately. They're not terribly flattering and they're filled to an unnatural degree. I talked to a makeup artist at Sephora and she seemed to feel brow pomade should only be reserved for those that require filler. It's been abused by many girls who clearly have eyebrows to begin with but for whatever reason want them to look so precise and on point that they're bordering on being cartoony. In a fit of rebellion, I have plucked my once natural angular eyebrows into rounded and thin 30's style brows because I am just that fucking sick and tired of seeing these big, ugly, eerily precise brows (not even Joan Crawford could make this shit look good!).

As much as I love drag queens, I don't think we should be doing our makeup like them...



What are your thoughts on these trends? What would you love to see go for good this year?

Best,

13 comments:

  1. I think you have brought a number of topic. I got to admit it's nice seeing mainstream embracing the alternative using for disposable fashion does irritate me. I had a look in H&M and the clothes they stocked in my local alternative shop, which really fume me off. Along with people donning heavy metal and band t-shirts when they haven't even heard of the bands. For example when of the Kardashian wore a Slayer - T shirt.

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    1. I've seen this! It's too weird. Often times mainstream brands will adopt alternative trends for no real reason other than because it 'looks cool'. I don't think any girls in H&M listen to Slayer or Metallica. Wearing a band tee when you don't listen to the band is just too stupid and poseur-ish!

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    2. Actually there were this one finnish metal composer who stroke back on this one. H&M sold a jacket with made up black metal band names and logos. Well this artist made "real bands" and discographies under the name of those made up logos. Themes of the "bands" and "songs" were all some sick and filthy stuff like sodomy or national socialism. I think they can be found on web this very day. It was a bit childish but indeed, hilarious.

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    3. That is the most amazing story I've ever heard! That guy is awesome. Fake band names?! I'd be embarrassed to wear something like that.

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    4. Yeah, that guy is pretty awesome. Trollhorn, Henri Sorvali by his real name. The founding member of couple best metal bands in Finland, Finntroll and Moonsorrow.

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  2. For me the nro.1 beauty trend is to be as natural and fresh as possible. Heavy make-up and haircolour makes 30+ much older looking easily. So unfortunately that means 3 year old roots showing for now and some heavy eyebrows (yet blonde brows, thank gods):D But I refuse to plug them a lot cause I still want to have some eyebrows when I am (hopefully) really old some day.

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    1. I love natural makeup jobs. I tend to side more on the vintage look (30's and 40's) because I'm too pale from illness to get away with nude shades lol. I like your eyebrows! But there's a difference between naturally thick eyebrows and those that are definitely not natural and drawn on. I had a friend in high school who used to pen his eyebrows on and they were so thick and angular he looked like a walking Egyptian hieroglyphic! I think every face has a balance to it, if you draw too much you lose that balance.

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  3. haha I'm never getting rid of my overdrawn lips. I dont have any lips otherwise! Especially with dark shades, which always make your lips look smaller. My least favorite trend right now is the one where people are gluing shit to their forehead. so dumb.

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    1. Gluing shit to their forehead? That's news to me lol. Like crystals and such? I remember that in the 90's...it was weird back then too. I have to draw my lips on, like I said the top lip is gone thanks to scar revision! There wasn't much of one to begin with, so overdrawing has always been a must. But when it gets into clown territory, and that seems to be the case amongst today's youth, I just can't handle it lol. Fish lips everywhere! I actually don't mind dark lipstick on small lips because it creates that vintage 20's look, that's due for a comeback.

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  4. I agree with you on everything!!!
    I have always had "thicker" eyebrows and never have plucked them, but they aren't that big! LOL! And, I do like my lipstick, but again, I am not doing my lips that big! LOL!

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    1. Your lips and eyebrows are quite nice! :) My friend told me her phone has a filter that distorts the face in the lips, nose and eyes, she thinks it's funny but I feel really sad to think that there are young girls out there who feel the need to use it to look so ...unrealistic!

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  5. Oh eyebrows. sigh ... I'm one of those women who need filler because my eyebrows are so light and nonexistent. I'm actually a blonde under all of this black hair and I'm practically hairless -- very light and sparse arm, leg, and facial hair. I NEED to fill in my eyebrows or I'll look like I have nothing. Like you, I've opted for a thin, 1920s brow. These big eyebrows remind me of fuzzy caterpillars crawling across a gal's face. HA!

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    1. lol You took the words out of my mouth, every time I see big brows I think CATERPILLARS! I knew a girl in high school who was damn near albino, she had to "invent" her brows, which gave her a great deal of creative freedom! :)

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