General Life StuffSo I thought this month was ending on a high note, now I realize how wrong I was. I got a job, yes, finally a job. It's contract and probably only going until November. Aside from the horrors of working full time six days a week, and needing to take an hour to an hour and half commute to the shittiest area in our city, I'm really bad at this job. The position is a cookie decorator in a factory setting. I have no baking or decorating experience; either they felt I had potential or no one else showed up for the job. Regardless, I've had my first days and I've done terribly. My hands are crippled and twisted in pain from having to put pressure on the icing bags for eight hours. I can't seem to control where the icing goes. They have a very high production standard where "ok" isn't good enough, but I'm not able to even produce okay looking stuff. I feel embarrassed by my poor work and I'm depressed. I hate it there. I only took the job so we could have an extra income but I feel like a complete failure and that's not a feeling I'm comfortable with.
I'm the kind of person who likes to master her work, remember where everything is and how everything is done, but this is beyond my control. Even when I try my damnedest to do things right I get it wrong. The faces on the cookies don't all look alike, I can't draw a perfect circle in icing that likes to melt (on cookies that aren't perfect circles by the way)! I'm haunted by the impending firing that will be take place in what I assume is a week. If I can't pick up the pace or learn the techniques I'm a goner and that's an awful feeling. I'll have made an additional month's worth of what would have been my usual wages, but letting down my fiance and not keeping the job will be a hard hit for our relationship. I felt like I was taking the burden off of his shoulders and things seemed really good for a moment, but now it's sort of sad. I get home and I can barely keep awake for two of the four personal hours I have after work. In fact, most of my personal time now is sleeping. :/ I guess I'm not cut out for factory work, it's terribly difficult. I've never been fired before and the thought terrifies me. :(
Health and Wellness
As mentioned in the last section, I'm exhausted and depressed. I don't sleep as well and don't feel rested. I'm seeing my gyno this weekend to discuss pain in my abdomen. I'm afraid it might be adhesion (scar tissue) and she might have to scrape some of that stuff out of me. >.< My mom had it done after her hysterectomy and said it hurt like a bitch. Some women have to undergo surgery a second time. It hurts when I go pee, like my whole body is being sucked into the toilet or something.
Hobbies and Leisure
Although I had a month of not being employed I'm not sure what the hell I had been doing all the while. I ordered up some craft supplies and finally got a crackle medium which is damn near impossible to find. I once found it on Etsy but the supplier stopped messaging me halfway through and I never heard back from her. I'm happy to finally have it, I can start painting my art doll's faces. I also got the fabric that I needed to make their clothing and bodies. I was really excited to get them finished and then I got hired. The positive side of possibly getting fired is that I'll have time to finish my art, but it also puts me off schedule. The Halloween dolls were supposed to be finished this week, so much for that I guess. I have a new Halloween felt craft that will be available soon too. I'm halfway through drawing up the tutorial, I'm excited to get it into my shop which still only has one pattern, blah! I also bought a bunch of envelopes so I can start selling off my vintage patterns.
No sewing so far, making money prioritized my time. I had made some short shorts in the earlier part of the month, and I did a lot of reading while on my second vacation, but no real sewing has taken place. I was going to compete in the Inspired by Books contest on Pattern Review but depending on the job situation I may or may not have time (even if I do get let go and have more time again I'll probably be working on my art). I'd like to sew a dress and some skirts, finish that bustier thingy and get started on my Autumn dress, but time will only tell. If somehow I manage to do better at work I won't have any personal time for sewing. So I'll have to write fashion related posts on here and that will be it for awhile. :/
How are things with all of you?