General Life StuffIt's super warm outside! Our A/C broke last year but this year our landlord is actually making an attempt to fix it. I hope it works out well because I get the feeling we'll have a few really hot days this summer. I am spiritually awakened by all this great weather. I get excited to go out at night, especially when I go to the park to see the bats. One flew so close to me the other night, I could hear it's wings flapping! :D Although the weather has been great I'm kind of bummed, I missed so much of my favorite season while I was in the hospital. I only caught the tail end of the blooming apple and magnolia trees and all the tulips and daffodils. I miss my parents' home, where there are large lilac bushes planted by the windows. When I lived there I would open up my bedroom window and gorgeous floral aromas came pouring in. I'd love something like that again. When I buy my first house with my fiancé, I would like to look for a home with a great yard and lilac bushes or cherry trees.
It's sad that I missed most of spring, but I'm happy that summer is here (I consider June the beginning of summer). I'll be going on vacation for a few days at my parents' trailer again. I plan on fishing, reading, making more art, hiking and visiting the small shops. I'm really excited to have some time away from home. My fiancé pokes fun of me, saying that I'm home all the time anyways and that it's like a vacation. I'm quick to point out that I was housebound because of illness and it might as well be a prison sentence. I love the outdoors and yearn to be out enjoying it, not bed ridden re-watching the same TV series over and over and over again. >.<
Health & WellnessAs I had mentioned before I was readmitted to hospital a second time with two different infections. I stayed for nearly a week and it was hell. I've never been more uncomfortable in my life. I'm not sure what I ended up with, but I was told I had a bug and a fungus. They took all sorts of tests all around the clock. I was awakened each night around 3 AM to get my blood taken. Now, I'm not afraid of needles (I mean come on, I sew lol) but I absolutely hate getting IVs and having my blood taken. The reason for this is because it's difficult, I have small veins that roll. If I'm lucky the nurse will listen to me and do their best to use the smallest needle they have, if I'm not lucky - which seems to be the case - they'll use a large needle with no success and it hurts like hell. Basically they'll poke me anywhere between 2-5 times and manipulate the vein, which is crazy painful. On the day that they removed my abscess drainage bag (scary bag that goes through your abdomen) they tried to give me another IV because the last one "blew." They tried three times and failed so they sent me without it. It was torture. I think during my stay I was pricked somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 times.
I had been in a lot of pain but after being on antibiotics and lots of narcotics I started to feel better. Even my res doctors (whom I grew to adore) were happy to see me coming along. My one res doctor reminded me daily that I had been very, very sick and that each day would seem like a small step toward recovery. By the end of the week I had felt almost 70% recovered. They had removed the catheter on the Monday of that week, on my last day they removed the drainage bag. After having all the tubes taken out of me I felt amazing lol, only because I hated them that much. They sent me home on antibiotics which I've since finished, I ended up with thrush because of it (gross ass crap babies get, if you're child has had it they probably couldn't vocalize to you how nasty it is - it's nasty!!). I'm feeling much better. The first few days home were slow but I'm okay with walking around the house now. I can go to the bathroom without having black-out inducing pain. My abdomen is still sensitive and it hurts sometimes. I'm scared of going back to work at the animal clinic but I think I might be ready.
Due to bed shortages, I had to stay in the cancer ward while I was at the hospital. It was nice to have a semi-private for free but the atmosphere there was very heavy. I could hear the women talking to their families about losing their hair in clumps and feeling sick. It made me very depressed. I met a lovely lady on my last day who was super enthusiastic and talkative. She had no problem telling me about her cancer and her experiences, and she encouraged me to live my life without worry. My time spent at the hospital had quite an impact on me. I've never really known anybody with cancer and I've never seen the effects of chemo before. When I got home I broke down and cried. It didn't help that my fiancé had told me of a woman, around my age, who had just died at the same hospital from flesh eating disease. I lost my shit. Here's this woman who just had her second child and she dies from this thing she has no control over. Knowing that she was downstairs at the same time, somewhere suffering and seeing her last moments; knowing I had women and men all around me sickly and dying; I could not stop crying. Even now I'm filled with sorrow. It teaches me to appreciate the life I do have and to live it to the fullest. I'd love to do something for cancer research or donate art to the cancer ward some day.
Hobbies & Leisure
I have many posts planned for June! There's a sewing/tutorial post still in the works. I have a knit project I might work on and an upcycle project. I plan on writing a post about my successful "Goth" thrift store haul! I'm also writing a plus sized fashion post. You may have noticed I included a gardening post recently, I'd like to continue doing a few non-fashion related posts in the future. It's more like gardening and home-making for the Goth and Alt enthusiast. Don't worry, it won't take over my blog, my hope is that it will fill in the gaps when I'm sewing. Please note that while I'm on vacation I do not have internet access, so if I suddenly go missing and your comments aren't published I'm probably away enjoying the sunshine. ;)