What's been going on with me
Greetings friends! As you probably have noticed, I finally completed my first sewing project review for this blog. I promise there will be many projects to come. Today is the Autumn Equinox / Mabon! And I can't think of a better time to start a new chapter in my life. I have finally found employment. Although it's currently only weekend work, I'm hoping that this new position will help pave the way for more employment opportunities. I really like my job, I'm an assistant dog groomer. :) It sounds silly but it's a lot of fun. It's also physically demanding! I was so exhausted when I finished on Saturday that I fell asleep at 9 PM and didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning.
This job is not enough to help pay the bills. I'm currently seeking employment for during the week but haven't found much so far. I'm still plugging away at starting up my Etsy shop but it's been difficult. I might not be selling a whole lot of artwork. I experienced too many problems when creating my prototypes, so the majority of my products will probably be downloadable craft patterns. I will announce my store opening on this blog although I have no idea when I'll be ready to launch my shop.
This last weekend was a whole lot of fun! I got to hang out with my friend Liz, who I haven't seen in almost a year. We went to an all you can eat sushi bar and stuffed ourselves with amazing food. I was so full I felt as though I was going to explode! We then went for a nature hike and took photographs of my new dress. It was gorgeous outside! The weather was warm, even if the sky was a little overcast. The trees were glowing with vibrant shades of red and yellow. I've included pictures of our outing in this post!
I absolutely adore fall. It's such a wardrobe friendly season! It's warm enough in the day for dresses and cool enough in the evenings for sweaters. How many other times in a year can you utilize your entire wardrobe? Not often! Especially if you live in Canada where both fall and spring are gone in the blink of an eye. I've already been putting out more of my fall decor. My sewing room is still being built up with Halloween folk art. I plan on having the whole house decorated for the season! In October I'll have my first Thanksgiving with my fiance, which I think will be lovely. It'll be difficult because he's on a paleo diet, he's also a fussy eater. I on the other hand am mostly on a gluten-free diet. I'm planning on eating duck with stuffing, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies and turnip. I'll also be baking a paleo friendly pumpkin pie - I'll be experimenting with this recipe this week, I hope it'll turn out. Most paleo recipes are ghastly but we sometimes find a few recipes that my fiance and I can tweak to perfection. Gosh, I haven't eaten mashed potatoes in probably ten months. I miss them so much. >.<
I'm really happy to have finished sewing my dress. I'm mostly pleased with the final garment but I admit I'm the most critical person when it comes to my own work. Even my artwork. Preparing for the opening of my Etsy shop has been hell. Life is still pretty shitty for me. The pressure to find more employment is very intense, I think I'm suffering from depression. Every day I'm overcome with anxiety. My obsessive compulsive disorder has been at it's worst. I've been trying to keep myself occupied but it's all been to no avail. I can feel the tension in my neck and shoulders. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry, other times I want to run away. I'm just sick to my stomach. If I could do things over again, I would have stayed home with my parents longer - even at the risk of harming my relationship. I just feel we rushed into moving out and weren't financially prepared for it. Unfortunately what's done is done, now all I can do is shoulder the responsibility and feel like beating myself over the head repeatedly. All of this stress is compounded by the fact that my student loan will be going into repayment at the end of October, right before I'm scheduled to go in for a surgery that will put me on my ass for almost a month. Fun stuff, huh?
In a perfect world I'd get another job as an assistant groomer, so I would be doing what I enjoy during the week as well. I'd be making enough money to alleviate the burden on my fiance. I'd hopefully be allowed to defer my loan payments for longer, because it's not like I make enough money to even support myself. I'd also never feel guilty for taking time to do things for myself. I feel horrible when I sew because I realize I'm not out working and making money. Whenever my fiance asks what I've been up to, I almost don't want to say I was sewing this afternoon. Yet, it's one of the only things I can do to help cope with my OCD. It's a good distraction.
All I can do for now is try to focus on the positive things. I wish I could start work on this dress I've been planning to make for months. I know it will be very pretty when it's finished, so I'm excited about making it. I've been drawing pictures of it about a hundred times! I'm eager to get started. Another good thing is that I am very pleased with the results of my gardening this year. I've never been a successful green thumb, but this year my plants bloomed wonderfully. My climbing Joseph's Coat rose is on it's final bloom. It's a beautiful rose that turns from yellow to hot pink and then to a dark red/orange colour. My dahlias were also very successful this summer; there were so many blooms the planter was overflowing! I'll have to transfer it to a larger planter in the future. Right now it's slowing down and will be dormant before too long. I'm going to buy some mums too, they're one of my favorite flowers for fall!
I send my best wishes to all of you! I hope that you have many glorious things to look forward to this autumn. :)