Savoring what life has to offer...
I try not to use my blog as a venting space. I know we all get a little tired of seeing friends on social networking sites doing nothing but complaining. It seems everywhere there are bitch fests. That's part of the reason I don't take to forums, being on a blog is a little nicer; there aren't any snobby cliques that exclude you, it's your blog so you're in control of the content. I just find it a lot more enjoyable to socially network through blogs. Today I'm writing to give an update on how things are going in my life and how it impacts my blog.
The last time that I spoke of my personal life I was discussing my dire need for employment. There have been next to no jobs available in my city (and surrounding area) for general labor or specialty positions. I made the decision that instead of sitting around waiting to get hired, I would take things into my own hands and sell my art. Well, things haven't fared well. My grand idea to produce artwork for profit is far more difficult than I ever imagined. I've been running into multiple problems. It's not like when I was in University and I had projects with deadlines, every day is a deadline in my eyes but I keep failing to complete things. It seems like I've had to start projects over hundreds of times! Part of my problem is the materials I'm using. I spent money on some of the best crafting supplies available but they're far from perfect. I keep trying to research how to use my materials effectively but I can't find anything. Nobody shares their industry secrets, you pretty much have to make up things on your own.
For the previous month I've been doing nothing but trial and error. I've been developing what I refer to as prototypes. I want to perfect my product rather than sell something blindly with no consideration for how it holds up over time. I've heard many horror stories of customers purchasing things through Etsy only to realize that they're terrible quality when they receive them. It's easy to fake a picture and make something look amazing, we see it magazines all the time, but if you make a crappy product it will bite you in the ass. People aren't afraid of giving you a bad review. So, rather than mess up and send something out that I'm not happy with, I've continued to push forward with making prototypes. It's a daunting process. Sometimes my heart just isn't in it because I'm continually exhausting myself. I feel really defeated especially because there are so few resources on crafting (there's tons if you're interested in knitting or painting fine art). I'm beginning to realize why so many people say selling art on Etsy (or Ebay) is a good hobby. As a job it's stressful and financially draining. I've been reading about peoples losses for the first few years of business. It seems artists just can't break even. I'm afraid that might happen to me.
As usual I've been applying for jobs frequently. I spend about half a day job hunting and the other half either studying computer programs that I can use in the workforce or trying to make more art. I haven't really had much time to myself unless it's when I'm sick or when I have the weekends off with my fiance. It really sucks. I wish I did have an ordinary full time job, at least I'd be getting paid for my time and I could do what I want in the after hours. Lots of people have told me to look elsewhere for work but it seems the whole province is in a dry spell. My fiance and I always wanted to move to a small town but of course job opportunities are even worse in rural communities. I will say one thing in their defense, there are more entry level jobs in the countryside than in the city. I guess all I can do is keep plugging out resumes and hope for the best. I've even considered going back to school for a small course but it's just not financially possible. It's a real drag. I know I'm not alone though, my best friend is struggling with the same thing. : (
I will continue to post on my blog as much as I can. Most of it is going to have to be articles about styles, reviews, and things like that. I feel bad because I've been meaning to post about my sewing but I haven't had any time to sew. It's been driving me bonkers. I get flyers in the mail from our local fabric shop and it's such a downer! I just want to sew!!! Fingers crossed that I get some kind of solid employment before the month is up, otherwise it's been a whole year that I've been looking without success.
Speaking of anniversaries, my fiance and I are having our six year anniversary soon! We're planning on doing something special. We used to go on week long trips to celebrate but that's probably not going to be possible this year, which isn't too bad. Before moving out, our vacations were a way to spend more personal time together, it was like living together. It was always such a relief, especially from my uni studies. Now that I live with my fiance every day feels like a vacation. :) He's really helped me to feel more calm, I suffer from an anxiety disorder but it's always better when he's around. I'm really grateful for the things that I do have. That's what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to savor the good things in life. Really, when you've hit rock bottom it's all you can do.
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